There are things that happen to us that no amount of goodness, faithfulness, or love can prevent.
Love does not spare us, Iโve learned.
It costs us.
๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ก writes this in ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ท๐๐ข๐:
โLife will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ก๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ข๐๐.โ
That line undoes me every time: ๐ค๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ .
The image stays with me.
The apples falling. The sweetness wasted.
Itโs not that the apples donโt matter.
Itโs that no one stopped to taste them.
We get very few choices about what happens to us in life, but we do get innumerable choices about how we respond to the things we do not want and would never choose.
When despair moved in and set up shop after Jimmyโs loss, I chose reluctant wonder.
When sorrow planted its flag and overstayed its welcome, I chose defiant joy.
Not because it was easy. ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ .
Not because it came naturally.
๐ต๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก.
Knowing all too well how easily it could all be lost, here are a few of the recent ways I have chosen to taste (not waste) the sweetness that awaits in abundance.
โขI wore the tiara. In public.
โขI stopped, more than once, to converse with cows.
โขI arranged a Dumb and Dumber photo shoot, complete with goofy bangs and split screens.
โขI bought a bejeweled headband right off the head of a total stranger.
โขI read really good books.
โขI delighted in our feathered and furry visitors who daily help themselves to the birdseed I have now termed ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
โขI bought the impractical but yummy puppy slippers.
โขI made sweet memories on amazing trips with my Austin.
โขI made sure the fur babies were outfitted in the latest fashions.
โขI corresponded with agents and continued working on ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐, the book I am called to write.
โขI climbed all the way to the top of the sliding board, and squealed the whole way down.
โขI ordered matching jammies adorned with Sadieโs and Lexiโs sweet, little faces.
โขI danced in the rain ๐๐๐ in the snow.
โขI wore the fancy dresses.
โขI led HEALยฎ Ministriesโ second Ladies Conference.
โขI served precious families, along with our volunteers, through Jimmyโs foundation.
These are not the only ways, mind you.
They are just some of ๐๐๐๐.
They are the apples ๐ผ chose.
They donโt erase the ache. They exist because of it. They donโt undo the grief. They simply accompany it.
They soften its sharpest edges, mitigate its pain, and help me stay open to the goodness that still, somehow, finds its way in.
We donโt get to choose what happens to us.
๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ โ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐.
But we do get to choose how we respond.
So, may we choose well.
May we notice what remains.
May we taste the sweetness that still falls at our feet while we wait for whatโs to come.
โO taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in Him.โ
๐๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐:๐
