Love remains

Some days, the ache rises afresh.

Today it found me down memory lane. Just Jimmy and me, doing what we loved. Teaching together. Laughing together. Never ceasing to marvel at how blessed we were to serve together in the ministry we loved.

By his side was my favorite place to be. He was home, safety, acceptance, delight. He was laughter and fun and courage and principle. He was pure love—the kind of love that spills over and runs down the sides. He was good, through and through. The best man I ever knew.

And us? Well, we were magic.

Today, as both tears and rain fall, I feel it all.

Grief, a strange companion, is both fierce and tender, quiet and loud. It rarely asks for permission, it simply intrudes.

Today, I welcome it like a friend.

Because as painful as it is to long for what once was, I resolve never to forget how very blessed we were to have had a love so rare.

And though I feel the ache of what I have lost, I am anchored by what remains.

The same God who knit our hearts together has been faithful to reassemble mine, piece by piece, gathering all that is broken and mending it with His mercy.

His grace is the thread that has held me together. His faithfulness is the steady hand that has kept me on my feet.

So, today, I carry it all with me:
The ache.
The joy.
The dashed hopes.
The beautiful memories.

The honor it was to be Jimmy’s girl.
The honor it is to belong to the One who loved us first, sustained us through every season, and carries me still.

The story continues, not with the happily ever after I expected, but with a love that outlives sorrow, and a Savior who writes good into every line.

For today, at least, that is proving to be enough.

“We are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms.”
~ 𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐭