Today was a first for me.
For years, I was accompanied to chemo by my precious Jimmy. After his loss, “Bev’s Angels” stepped in, picking up the pieces, and making sure I never went alone. Not once. In almost four years.
Today, that ended. Not because my angels weren’t available. Not because they left me hanging. Not because they wouldn’t have moved heaven and earth to be there, but simply because my nurses and I realized recently that, unless or until my treatment protocol changes, I can now drive myself.
It was a bittersweet development. The love that was lavished on me in the aftermath of Jimmy’s loss saved me in more ways than I can begin to articulate.
𝑴𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒏, 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔. You held my hand. You held my heart. You (and Jesus) kept me on my feet.
I felt a bit wobbly going in today, but things went smoothly. As I sat there, I reflected on all that had preceded this day and reminisced about the many hours spent with each of you—the laughter and tears shared as the meds meant to save my life coursed through my veins.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒅’𝒔 𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. I need you to know that.
You gifted me with your presence and infused me with your hope when my own was in short supply. You were the body of Christ on display—the hands and feet of Jesus at work—I was the blessed beneficiary.
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
I also need you to know that it was never just a car ride, an office visit, or an afternoon spent in an antiseptic infusion room. It was holy. It was healing. It was sacred. It was redemptive.
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
The meds weren’t the only thing that saved my life.
PS. I have no doubt that if, at some point, I need to be lowered through a roof for healing, you’ll figure out a way to make that happen, too.
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅𝒔.
𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.
“‘But it does not seem that I can trust anyone,’ said Frodo. Sam looked at him unhappily. ‘It all depends on what you want,’ put in Merry. ‘You can trust us to stick with you through thick and thin—to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours—closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo.’”
~ 𝐉.𝐑.𝐑 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐧