Embraced | Beverly Carroll

Embraced

Headed into the new year, I spent quite a bit of time at Jimmy’s grave. I go at least once a week, and find immense peace there, but this particular visit hit differently.

Faced with the fact that yet another year has come and gone, I reeled anew at Jimmy’s loss. Looking at his beautiful name on our shared marker, the unreality of it all washed over me once again, striking with the force of a physical blow.

With my fragile, paper-thin heart freshly shredded, and only geese for witnesses, I wept great, heaving sobs. I allowed myself to remember the fairytale that was our union: the bond, the joy, the love, the fun, the beauty, the devotion.

How good it all was, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 when life was not.

Each memory, an aching, poignant reminder of all that will never be again. The void felt especially cavernous that day, the pain, especially intense. I stayed longer than usual, finding it hard to tear myself away, but, just as I was about to head back to the car, I spotted what you see circled in the pictures below.

Mindful that class is always in session, I took it in, grateful for what Christ, in His mercy, had allowed me to see. There, in that place where peace holds hands with sorrow, wonder unfolded before my very eyes with one, single glance heavenward.

The lesson was not lost on me, nor was its glory. As the clouds coalesced into grand panoramas, one, lone branch testified to the prevailing safety found within the storm, illustrating that no peril exists where protection is already guaranteed.

In a moment graced with enduring significance, Jesus broke through my tears and communicated to my unsuspecting heart His faithfulness to stay and to hold.

Its meaning unmistakable, I whispered in astonished response, “Lord, the broken one, that’s me! And the ones cradling me? They’re You.”

In that moment, grief and grace collided. Fear dissolved. Peace reigned. Question marks were replaced with exclamation points.

I see it, Lord. I see it. I am held!

The glimpse, so seemingly random, was anything but. It was a lifegiving, real life parable orchestrated by the One who has yet to let me fall. He holds me fast, declaring that, “…underneath are the everlasting arms.”

As I carry His reminder into this new year, may I resolve to dance in the rain, rather than fear the storm that brings it. When the thunder cracks and the winds buffet, may I rest in the embrace of the One who already holds me in His.

“We are secure, not because we hold tightly to Jesus, but because He holds tightly to us.”
~ 𝐑𝐂 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐥

“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.”
~ 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞: 𝟐𝟒,𝟐𝟓

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